Whole System Psychotherapist, M.Ed., TFT-Dx

BLENDING Families

Forming a New Relationship With Kids Involved

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When new love is found with a second partner when kids are involved, it can be quite hard for the parents and children involved.  Problems can surface in many ways in Newly Formed Families. Often it is hard to become a step parent, and to create a role the step parent is going to play within the life of the new step child(ren). When disagreements arise between step siblins or with step children, the roles of the New Formed Parents are difficult to define. Feelings of resentment, feelings of not being able to treat the step child(ren) the same as blood related children, arguments between the parents who do not agree on situations and how to raise the children, and feelings of not feeling loved as much by the partner, are all very common feelings that can surface within a New Formed Family. Therefore, it is understandable for a second marriage to have a higher risk of failure than a first marriage.

Getting help within forming a new family is deeply underrated. There are so many frustrations that need to be talked about and worked through. Often, the parents and kids do not dare to speak up about their true feelings so as not to hurt anyone. But by not speaking resentment will build slowly into anger and frustration, which can be very harmful to the relationship and the children involved. Other indications that something is not right within the New Formed Family, is when one or a few children are becoming difficult and/or angry.

As a therapist I find it very necessary to attend a few counseling sessions before a newly formed family is created. Counseling the New Formed Family could be done only with the parents if it is preventive or when the situation is not too far out of control. This will be mainly short term counseling, providing the parents with insights and ways to create a healthy New Formed Family. When the situation is quite difficult it would be most beneficial when the parents get counseling first, and the children will follow suit.

My first session is for free to discover for you, if you feel comfortable working with me, and for me to get an impression if I can help you with your current situation.